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For example, my itemized catalogue of Sexual Positions: Best to Worst did not always go over well when I was on the dating scene.
Especially when I helpfully unfolded it post-coitus. Websites have FAQ’s, appliances have manuals, why must the intricacies of lesbian dating practices be learned on the fly?
There’s a right way and a wrong way to start dating and begin a relationship.
Here are my top 9 must-know rules for doing it the RIGHT way.
Being thoughtful means you’ve spent time looking back on your life and at what worked and what didn’t in your relationships.
These rules will make your life better and happier — and make dating a lot less crazy!
In other words, be really single — not just almost single but completely single.
I’ve polled a group of Lesbian Dating Experts (Read: random Facebook friends) to create a comprehensive — rather than a FAQ let’s call it a FUCT (Frequent Unfortunate and Confusing Truisms)**Note to Grumpy Lesbians: I’m certain many of you do not fit these stereotypes (No, I’m not.). She’ll text you “I want you to do me in the bathroom,” but she’ll offer her cheek when you go to kiss her goodnight. If she says “No one could ever really love me,” for God sake believe her. She says, “I want it to be special; let’s wait.” She means “I have intimacy issues.”She says “I just want to hold you.” She means “I’m actually straight.”If she says she likes sex because it “I don’t know, just…feels good,” run.
If for example, you’re a butch who makes the first move, please don’t write me glowering comments; I can think of a much better use for your time. If her Okcupid profile says she has a great sense of humor, she doesn’t. If she says she has “abandonment issues,” what she means is she will hide your car keys. If you shake her off she will fall to her knees in the driveway weeping. If she says she likes sex because it’s an effective means toward building an emotional connection, run.However, once you step into the choo-choo train to go to the land of queer, there aren’t any tour guides to help ease you out of the closet and into girl-on-girl dating.